Set in 1990s Bengaluru (then Bangalore), Anoop Lokkur’s Don’t Tell Mother unfolds with the tenderness of a lived ache and the innocence of a child’s gaze. Eschewing conventional plot turns, the film finds meaning in the quiet rhythms of domestic life, in a boy’s withheld fear, in a mother’s unspoken longing and in the subtle emotional currents that bind a family together. With its contemplative pacing and finely observed detail, Lokkur’s narrative captures everyday moments with a sensitivity that feels at once deeply intimate and quietly universal.

Don’t Tell Mother premiered at the Busan International Film Festival in the “A Window on Asian Cinema” section. In this interview, Lokkur delves into the film’s meditative tone and its exploration of repression and intimacy, reflecting on how its visual stillness and restraint mirrors the quiet tensions within a family.

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Dipankar Sarkar: Don’t Tell Mother unfolds with the tenderness of a lived ache and the innocence of a child’s gaze. What first compelled you to turn those fragments of childhood memory into a film?

Anoop Lokkur: The idea for this film was born out of a conversation with my wife about how to raise children. We had very different views when it came to disciplining kids, and that became the catalyst for the story. I started thinking about how a child experiences fear, love and authority, and how those early moments stay with us, quietly shaping who we become. That curiosity was what led me to make the film.

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DS: Don’t Tell Mother’s story is set in 1990s Bengaluru, a city on the cusp of change that will become India’s largest hub for the information technology industry. What drew you to that particular decade as a setting?

AL: Since the story is based on my own childhood, I wanted to stay as true to my memories as possible. The events in the film took place in the 1990s, so it felt natural to set it there. There was something very special about that time — life felt a little slower and simpler. Bangalore was on the verge of change, but it still had this laid-back feel to it. I wanted to capture that feeling — the texture of growing up in that world, before everything started to speed up.

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DS: As Aakash (Siddarth Swaroop) endures corporal punishment at school and keeps it from his family, his mother, Lakshmi (Aishwarya Dinesh as Amma), quietly longs for independence within her domestic confines. Through these parallel silences, were you exploring how repression echoes across generations?

AL: I think a lot of what we carry as adults comes from what we’ve absorbed as children. In Aakash and Lakshmi’s case, both of them have learned to stay silent in their own ways. For me, that was about how we internalize the expectations around us, whether from family or from society, and how those patterns quietly pass from one generation to the next.

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DS: Don’t Tell Mother has a quiet, watchful approach, unfolding through small, everyday moments rather than conventional plot points. Were you consciously resisting traditional dramatic structures while shaping the narrative?

AL: I wasn’t trying to resist structure — I just wanted to tell the story the way it felt right. In life, things don’t always happen in big dramatic ways. They usually unfold quietly — almost unnoticed. That’s what I wanted the film to feel like.

I wanted people to almost forget they were watching a movie and just feel like they were seeing someone’s life — maybe even something that reminded them of their own. For me, those small, ordinary moments are the ones that really stay with you.

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DS: The relationship between Aakash and Adi (Anirudh Keserker) feels remarkably lived-in. How did you guide the actors to perform with such natural ease and emotional closeness?

AL: I didn’t want the kids to act, I just wanted them to be. I never gave them a script. Before each scene, we’d just talk about what was happening, and what they were meant to do, and I let them perform it in their own way. With Anirudh, who plays Adi, what you see is really him. Sid took on an older brother’s energy and was protective towards Anirudh which was sweet to watch. Their friendship slowly turned into something that felt like family, and I think that’s what you feel on the screen.

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DS: Similarly, Aishwarya Dinesh brings a rare blend of tenderness and restraint to Lakshmi. What discussions did you have with her about embodying that internal conflict?

AL: Aishwarya and I spoke a lot in pre-production about Amma, her backstory, the choices she’s made and the ones that were made for her. We talked about where her frustrations come from and what’s behind the small things she says or does. Amma is someone who holds so much inside her, and we wanted to focus on that. Aishwarya really understood that. She brought such tenderness to the role. She carried so much emotion just in the way she looked or moved, and that made her performance natural.

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DS: The scenes move with a contemplative rhythm, allowing silences to breathe and quotidian moments to unfold at their own pace. How did you and Pavan Bhat, the editor, collaborate to shape that sense of stillness and emotional flow?

AL: I was really lucky to have an editor like Pavan. We spoke about the script in detail even before the shoot, so he had a strong sense of what we were trying to achieve. During the edit, what I appreciated most was his fresh perspective. He was able to look at the footage with fresh eyes and stay true to the heart of the story. A lot of our conversations were about knowing when to hold a moment and when to move on. Pavan was really good at this. Sometimes, we’d try cutting a scene in every possible way just to feel what worked emotionally. We didn’t want to force pace or drama — we wanted the film to breathe. Pavan really understood that, and I learned so much from him in the process.

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DS: At the same time, Don’t Tell Mother’s visual design has an observational quality, favoring static frames over stylized angles or camera movements. What guided your choice to adopt this restrained visual language?

AL: Matt [the cinematographer] was involved from the very beginning. While I was writing the script, we’d often go on long walks talking about the story and the world of the film. Both he and my wife really helped shape it in those early stages.

From the start, we knew we wanted the film to feel like someone’s life unfolding in front of the camera, almost like you’re quietly watching from a window. We didn’t want the camera or style to call attention to itself or distract from the story, so we decided to keep the frames still.

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DS: How did it feel to present your debut feature to audiences at the Busan International Film Festival? What insights and reflections did you take away from that experience?

AL: The Busan International Film Festival was an incredible experience for us. We were excited and nervous since it was the first time we were showing the film to the world. What really moved me was seeing people connect with it, even though it’s set in the 90s in South Bangalore. There was something universal in it that people related to.

Some audience members told us it reminded them of their own childhoods — which was really special. As a filmmaker, all you can hope for is that something so personal can feel familiar to someone else.

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DS: Lastly, what are your plans for releasing Don’t Tell Mother and connecting with audiences beyond the festival circuit?

AL: I really want to bring the film to cinemas in Bangalore. It was made there, it belongs there and I want people from the city to experience it on the big screen — the way we watched movies back in the 90s. There’s something special about watching a movie in a theatre, surrounded by people who share that place and memory.

I’m doing everything I can to make that happen. And beyond that, I just hope the film finds its way to audiences who can see a part of themselves in it, wherever they are.

Dipankar Sarkar (@Dipankar_Tezpur) is a Rotten Tomatoes-approved film critic based in India. As a freelancer, he regularly contributes to various Indian publications on cinema-related topics.

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