What the heck, Marry Me? Last Wednesday’s series premiere offered relevant and hilarious dialogue, but the experience of watching episode two, “Move Me,” was a checking off of the usual comedic cliches that are taking down FOX’s Mulaney slowly and surely.

Marry Me arrived on the scene with a bang, and although bleeped curse words aren’t always needed to be “edgy,” they definitely caught my attention. Maybe that’s the problem — a lack of writing “oomph.” F-bombs appeal more than esoteric zingers (and they’re easier to write). Am I sounding hipster, now? I get it. It’s NBC, not Portlandia. Well, here’s what the writers of Marry Me served up in episode two:

Fat Guy Jokes at a Buffet! 

John Gemberling’s Gil is a poor man’s Zach Galifianakis. He’s a tamed-down version of Alan Garner from The Hangover and Ken Marino is Network TV’s version of Bradley Cooper’s Phil Wenneck (at least when he’s forced to share scenes with Gemberling). In all honesty, I do enjoy Gemberling as an actor, but the physical and comedic similarities to Galifianakis are unavoidable. C’mon, NBC.

White People Dancing Awkwardly to Hip-Hop Music! 

Are we still doing this? Just when the pain was about to go way, Marry Me decided that America needed more crazy white people dancing offbeat to an early 90s jam. In this case, Salt-N-Pepa’s “Shoop.” It’s about as lame as African-American comedians still doing the “white guy” voice. “But hey, it’s great filler content for episode two,” said every network executive of the last 20 years.

Weak French Jokes!

Anytime the word “France” appears on primetime network television, the character(s) will undoubtedly reference wine, attitude or in this case, champagne. Incidentally (and unfortunately), Jake (Marino) and Annie (Casey Wilson) repeatedly mention the brilliant Housewives reality series, and don’t ask me which version. The writers even managed to insert Housewives into the final joke.

Ok, maybe I don’t have that many complaints (snicker), probably because I fell asleep 10 minutes into Marry Me (true?). Even Tim Meadows couldn’t save “Move Me,” although I did appreciate the Candyman line. Despite the flaws, I was impressed with Sarah Wright Olsen as Dennah, but the writers distorted her beautiful face with botox! The one bright spot…the one bright spot (Morgan Freeman voice).

Get it together, Marry Me. Fat jokes, French jokes and white people dancing awkwardly to hip-hop?

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